I've been a vegetarian long enough to feel determined but not so long as to have forgotten what meat tastes like. The presence of flesh consuming zombies in my day to day life has only strengthened my resolve to continue this dietary choice. Who knew that I'd be adding "witnessed cannibalism" to my list of reasons why I don't eat meat. Cory argues it isn't cannibalism. "Zombies aren't human." It's his standing argument. His rationale for remorseless take downs, for will strengthening, for maintaining resolve in the face of such an awful situation. But no matter how reassuring he is, all I see is a human eating a human. My stomach turns every single time. In all fairness, they aren't human any more. They've changed in so many obvious ways. And in some hidden ways.
We talk sometimes about how they move different. How they act differently. The hunger and killing is one thing. But they have these new movements and a new look in their eye. It's subtle at first encounter. That first time you run into one you're not thinking like Darwin. You're not trying to observe them in nature with an objective eye. You're spewing lines of every foul curse word you know, swinging like a maniac, and praying your heart doesn't explode out of your chest. But sometimes we see them from a distance. Out on our watches. Out on supply runs. We see them. They shift about. Slow. Sensing. Simple. Sometimes even peacefully with this strange sway they have. Like a boat on water. But like water, they turn on you fast and have no qualms in pulling you down to a dark and gloomy death.
The meat though. We are in a zoo. Not a farm. Not a giant biosphere. Not a botanical garden. A zoo. And we are running short on vegetarian options. We forage and scavenge what we can but Ian and I talk about what to do when the day comes that realistic vegetarian options just don't exist any more. He talks excitedly about learning to make his own tofu or trying to find egg laying birds we can add to the zoo's bird collection. I encourage him. Meanwhile, my mind lingers on a fear that I'll end up with blood and flesh in my mouth again...one way or another.